This is a problem with DVD specs, that is why you really don’t see a lot of text highlights on hollywood releases. When you do they edges a hidden with a darker background edge. The text is there when not selected and then changes color when selected.
It sounds like you want the text to be invisible when not selected, which is hard to do and make look good. Things that help are font choices, bold straighter verticals and rounded corners, back down on the opacity, Stroke the text with a red line, set this to the same color as the black text but even less opacity.
Designing DVD menus require a balance of what you want the menu to look like and what you can do within the spec.
One compromise is to use layer menus which you can achieve any look you what but you sacrifice speed of navigation, motion menus and audio.