What do I tell the lab so I can edit from the miniDVCAM tapes and later online the projects from the digibeta tapes so the timecode matches up and everything runs smoothly?
Telecine to the digi-betas and make dvcam CLONES of the digi-beta to edit with. The timcode on the digi-betas and dvcam tapes should then match perfectly and onlining will go smoothly. Another option would be to use your friends digibeta setup to capture the footage as DV files and use those for the offline edit.
I don’t know much about editing film in fcp. It might important to get a “flex file” or something from the lab. Make SURE you understand the entire workflow you will be using before you start editing. You should to learn cinema tools inside and out. I think it’s essential to keep the CT database in order. It seems like you are intent on learing all this stuff so your already ahead of alot of people.