thanks for digging into it brian! i see you put BACK some things i had in previous versions, like self collision, higher sub samples, etc. Like i said i bounced around so much trying different things, the version i posted is just where i stopped, posted, then kept trying hoping someone would have better luck than me.
regarding the flexion, that one keeps confusing me. i click on things and bring up help when i dont understand them, but the wording on flexion was never quite clear. so i usually bring it to 1, or 100, compare the results to try and figure out what is making it stiffer or floppier, than i forget an hour later, and start again. my understanding was higher flexion makes it LESS stiff, as it is more able to flex. Lower flexion increases rigidity…. right?
interesting point on the rubber %… to absorb energy. Ill keep that in mind as i tweak.
as far as softbodies or other methods, i think my first idea was to do it with a dynamic joint chain, but then i know even less about setting up joints. The low poly cloth cage was something i used to use alot in Lightwave, so i knew it was at least a method i could work with and know basically what i was going to get, as long as the c4d cloth behaved. If i know a enough about cloth to get this far, i know even less about softbodies. but since this is most of the way there, ill keep going this route.
Ill fiddle with this for a bit and see what i come up with. Thanks for your help!