-
Seeking some critique
Good morning. I am a former visual journalist with Tribune Corp. My hope is to get into short documentary producing on subjects that I feel strongly about while making at least enough money to cover expenses.
I have a trailer for my first attempt and I hope some of you can take a few minutes to look at the trailer and give me your opinion: Am I on the right track? Is it total rubbish? Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated and I hope you can spare a few minutes and some wisdom.
Thanks you ,Tom
https://vimeo.com/tombenitez/clay-loop
Some contents or functionalities here are not available due to your cookie preferences!This happens because the functionality/content marked as “Vimeo framework” uses cookies that you choosed to keep disabled. In order to view this content or use this functionality, please enable cookies: click here to open your cookie preferences.
-
2 Replies
-
First, some really nice photography in several places. The people stuff is obviously just kind of run and gun, which may be exactly what you’re looking for.
Second, loose the circle wipes through black. IMHO they look very dated. The white flash transition is better but the key in this kind of editing is keeping your transitions the same, or at least in the same family.
Third, from a story-telling point of view — and this is me saying this to someone formerly with a newspaper — you need to lead with something more emotional, more of a grabber. Why should we care? Tell us at the beginning not toward the end. You might even consider using the last guy as a voice-over during the running close-ups and other footage to clearly establish why this deserves the viewer’s attention. His statements could also be more emotional.
Lastly, and I believe you asked for direct responses, I’m not sure your trailer will stand-up as a longer piece. What else is their to say? Unless you have some really interesting content it’s difficult to pull in and keep an audience. And monetarily speaking, docs are a VERY hard market to get into and seldom pay well, if at all.
-
Nick,
Thank you for taking your time to critique my trailer.
Your comments will be very helpful to me as I try to plug along.
As far as making money, I realize that’s probably not going to happen but maybe weddings and other events will help support my habit.
You are obsolutely right about beginning with something more emotional and I sensed that . I think I can solve that. I guess I got in a rush to produce something quickly to create some interest.
Thanks againTom
Reply to this Discussion! Login or Sign Up