Production Haikus

[Mark Suszko]

Standards are key here:
Format is five-seven-five.
QC rejection.

[Jake Williams]

Correct form (for Mike):

first pass: process import: Shit!
Again: Encode, Encode, Ah!
Thank God for the cow

Jake Williams

[Tim Wilson]

Drop frame, non-drop frame
much easier to count than
dang 5 7 5

[Mark Grossardt]

Who in the world
has this much time on his hands?
Get to work, slackers.

Mark Grossardt
Video Editor
Clark Creative Group

[Mark Suszko]

Terms were “net thirty”.
The Big Corporation said:
“Go ahead and try”.

[Bob Zelin]

bought at B&H
can’t figure it out
they won’t help me

version 2 –

bought on ebay
nothing works
can’t finish job

version 3 –

shot with iPhone4
I am a genius
who needs RED

version 4 –

editor wanted
must supply AVID
no pay

version 5 –
Blackmagic NAB2012
new Decklink card
we pay you $199

version 6 –
Apple buys Adobe
Apple buys AVID
iMovie for everyone

[Mark Suszko]

Those are all good tries.
But they all fail Q.C., Bob.
Five, seven, five, please.

[Tim Wilson]

Zelin plays by rules
But rules of his own making
Someone might get hurt

Having said all that,
Those may be more like koans
Zen meditations

(A day of this now
I hear the entire world
Bounce in haiku beats)

[Alan Okey]

Indie shot on RED
Budget for post is tiny
festival next week

for Walter

[Alan Okey]

Message from client:
“We’d like to use a new font.”
“It’s called Comic Sans.”

Client not happy
Logo does not fill the screen
“What is title safe?”

Built-in microphone
Sound is bad; too much reverb
“You can fix it, right?”

Client is confused
4:3 on 16:9 screen
“Why do they look fat?”

Acting, script are poor
Producer says “That’s OK!”
“We shot it on RED.”