How about this one: the client told us all our dubs were “defective”, because they had no audio.
I run over there and find that someone had patched stereo and mono cords wrong on their machine, using some jank adapters and cords from a dollar store, and phase cancellation was muting the audio output. I re-connected the cables to their proper positions, set the stereo/mono switch, and our dubs now sound fine. I go home feeling pretty good.
Then they call me back to say I’ve”broken” their machine.
I run back to see what’s wrong now… The guy who owned the machine was mad because he came back and couldn’t hear whatever he’d been watching; the crazy way he originally patched the stereo/ mono audio into his monitor was the only way he could hear the sound, on whatever programming he usually watched on this system. I didn’t want to ask what that was. By connecting the cables and configuring the deck’s audio outputs to the conventional setup, I’d made his home-made media unlistenable.
Then there was the high level administrator who asked me to show her how to play an mpeg4 file off of a thumb drive attached to her PC so she could approve my work… Went looking for her media player, there wasn’t one installed. So I suggested we go to the inter-webs and download a player app, in this case, VLC.
So I ask her to do a web search for the player so we can download that.
…And she opens a blank Word document.
Sit down for this…
instead of using a web browser, she did all her web browsing by manually typing a URL into a blank word document, waiting for Word to turn that into hyperlink, then clicking the hyperlink. Then after viewing the web page, she’d close the window and trash the document.
I (redacted) you not.
I explained that it would be more efficient if she’d just use Internet Explorer. She had no idea what that was. She was familiar with Explorer as related to the file system, but not as a browser.
About an hour later, finally was able to play the video for her.
They do not pay IT help desk people enough money.