Update! I tried skipping every third line by using track mattes and appropriately offsetting duplicates of the upscale layer (based on the position of the appropriate layer below.) I think the results looked good in the x-axis, and then on the y-axis I simply used AE’s scale. The rescaled external recorder footage looks better than the in-camera footage, in my opinion:

BUT, I don’t want to create thousands of layers! This method requires a new layer for every other pixel in the x-axis. I’m already getting stack overflow errors. The good news is that it seems like skipping every third line gives a good result. Is there a practical way to do this?