Ok, here is the/a solution, for the later Googlers.
Ultimately we reached 1025 MB/s read and the same 850 MB/s write. We just had to tune the client sysctl.
We used the following:
net.inet.tcp.doautorcvbuf=0
net.inet.tcp.doautosndbuf=0
net.inet.tcp.sendspace=4194304
net.inet.tcp.recvspace=4194304
net.inet.tcp.maxseg_unacked=8
net.inet.tcp.delayed_ack=0
net.inet.tcp.win_scale_factor=7
net.inet.tcp.rfc1323=1
For our 2013 Mac Pro with ATTO Thunderlink NS 2201, these are what did the trick. The critical difference between this and what is often suggested (as well as what ATTO includes by default with their driver install) is that we did not set the kern.ipc.maxsockbuf to 8388608. We just left it off. It’s odd because the default is exactly this value, but hard setting it caused the read speeds to drop back to 20-40 MB/s.
The other settings seemed to have a smaller effect on the speed but they did inch it up. For example, maxseg_unacked=8 vs 32, gave about 80 more MB/s on the read. And the same for delayed_ack=0 vs 2 as well as the win_scale_factor=7 vs 3. And rfc1323 needed to be on, though this is the default.
The send and recv space definitely had an effect vs the default but these (or around these) are the commonly offered 10 gbe tuning values we’ve seen.
No switch changes were necessary and nothing on the server end. Jumbo frames were not necessary to reach these speeds. Our MTU is still 1500 end to end.