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Wanted: Freelance Videographer – Little Pay But Lots of Work
I just found this online, and once I finished laughing my head off, I thought you folks with get a kick out of it! It was found on Craiglist.org, under the TV/FILM/VIDEO section. I was originally going to post just the link, but since it will probably be taken down shortly, I decided to go ahead and post the entire thing. Keep reading for a good laugh….
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Videographer (MAINE) (MAINE)
Reply to: jo******************@********st.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-15, 10:36AM EDTThank you for your interest in contract work with Eddie and Joe’s Low End Out of the trunk of our car Residential Mortgage Co. We provide streaming videos of homes for sale on the typical free nutshot web video hosting services, ie, Youtube, Break.com, etc.
We are currently looking for video people to whore themselves out to shoot videos of homes. Must have 3-chip mini dv cameras or just pick something up at your local pawnshop or flea market because we don’t pay much. We want the whole enchilada and don’t care about your cost of equipment so you must have wide-angle lens, tripods, 1000w lighting equipment, cell phones, good reliable transportation or a ZOOM bus pass along with internet access at any library. We will be paying $.50 per home movie. Yes, you read it correctly, $.50 because that is what we think our videos are worth. On-site cancellations are your problem. We do not pay for mileage, tolls, parking, haircuts, Brazilian waxing, tattoo removal, vasectomies, or laser hair removal for unibrows. We will provide the used cheap China tape stock. Independent contractors will invoice us once every 2 years. A sample invoice will be provided in MS notepad.
We videotape homes on an average of six hours per home, All of the raw footage per home is needed. All directions are the responsibility of the videographer but due to client confidentially agreements we can not provide you with the actual physical address, just the house color. Schedules are emailed to the videographer 20 minutes before the scheduled shoot. We will work with you as to days and numbers of mobile homes to be videotaped, work as frequent as you wish for as low pay as possible. Remember, the more you work the less we will pay due to your volume. Saturdays are available from Midnight to 4AM. Work levels depend on your sobriety, area willing to cover and our matchbook sized business model. We are very busy screwing professional videographers in the Spring and Summer time and slower in the Winter time. We do need 4 weeks notice as to your availability. Tapes need to be sent back to the home office in Uranus, Galaxy 3, not 4, that was a misprint, no longer than 10 minutes after completion of the shoot. Please beam the tapes using Neutron Transporter “Omega” on freq 672.45-*/* 9’Er.
If you are interested, email, fax, write, yell, send courier pigeon, smoke write in the sky, use the bat phone, tap 3 times on the ceiling, or drop me a note in my prison wallet. I will send you additional information. Then please send us a sample of a home or porno videotaped by you on mini dv tape along with a copy of all of your tax returns and a contract signed in blood as well as all contact information (address, home and cell phone numbers, SSN, email address, bra size, combination to the safe and Auntie Mags chastity belt key.), also a $500.00 dishonesty bond is needed because we are brokers and we may rake you over the coals once or twice.This bond costs between $75.00 and $125.00 and can be obtained from your local gas station. This bond is part of the formal contract and is for your protection.
Good Luck, because you’re gonna need it.
* Location: MAINE
* Compensation: $.50 per shoot
* Telecommuting is ok.
* This is a part-time job.
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests. -
4 Replies
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I’m carefully considering submitting my resume, but I’m a little concerned about the cost of living in Maine. Anyone know if $1.00 a month will sustain me and my dog there?
I think I’ll go call Franklin McMahon for his honest opinion.
David Roth Weiss
Director/Editor
David Weiss Productions, Inc.
Los AngelesPOST-PRODUCTION WITHOUT THE USUAL INSANITY ™
A forum host of Creative COW’s Apple Final Cut Pro, Business & Marketing, and Indie Film & Documentary forums.
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$1.00 a month will get you very far in Maine. As long as you can dig your own clams, tend your own lobster pots, shuck your own oysters, grow your own potatoes, make your own maple syrup and skin your own moose. Come to think of it, you can probably train Auggie as a moose hunting dog!
Arnie
Post production is not an afterthought!
https://www.arniepix.com/ -
This actually sounds like a take off of a company that does advertise for “video real estate work.” The tip off is the “deposit” wanted to have the “privilege” of working their “leads” for them, and the tons of personal info requested to sign their contract. And the pay offered is painfully similar!
Dual 2.5 G5, IO, Kona LH, IO, Medea Raid, UL4D, NVidia 6800, 4Gig RAM
Octocore 8 GB Ram, Radeon card, MBP, MXO
Windows Vista Adobe Studio CS4, Vegas 8.0, Lightwave 9.3, Sound Forge 9, Acid Pro 7, Continuum 5, Boris Red 4, Combustion 2008, Sapphire Effects -
Then of course are the ads for student films and low-budget films, stating: We can’t pay you. Free food and a copy of the film for your reel.
Sounds tempting indeed.
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