Good thing there’s dumb people to provide humor

[Mark Suszko]

You improved my bad day just now, thanks.

“I weeesh to return this rrrecord; eet is scratched”.-John Cleese

[Mark Suszko]

This reminds me of when I worked for a Big Wedding Guy as a shooter, and he asked me to try to collect from a momzilla who refused to pay for her finished video.

Her issue was that they had quoted her a rate of fifty dollars an hour for the wedding project, and (wait, you know what’s coming, let me finish) since the final run time of the wedding video was two hours, she felt she only had to pay a hundred for it. With the shoot and edit, I think we’d sunk around 15 hours into it.

And as far as confusion about disc formats, MAN we get that all the time:

“I want you to video a training session and put it on a CD”.
“Do you mean on a DVD?”
“No, I want to be able to watch it at the office.”
“On your computer?”
“Yes.”
(one CD-Rom with AVI or h264 files on it later)
“This CD doesn’t work.”
“How are you watching it?”
“I put it in a DVD player”.
(One authored DVD later)
“This DVD doesn’t work.”
“Where are you using it?”
“In the computer.”
“Do you have a drive in the computer that can play DVD’s?”
“I dunno.”
“How about software to play the DVD with, do you have that?”
“I dunno. Can you just email me the DVD?”

[Mike Cohen]

I got these from a friend of a friend of a friend:

“I want the final video on a DVD”
“Ok, a DVD you can watch on your tv?”
“You can watch a DVD on a tv?”
“In other words using a standalone DVD player attached to a tv.”
“Yeah, that. And can it work on a computer without a DVD player?”
“No, we would have to do a CD.”
“Oh, what’s the difference?”

___________

“Hi, I am having trouble viewing the videos on your website.”
Ok, what’s the trouble?”
“Well, there’s no sound.”
“I see, can you adjust the volume on your speakers?”
“You need speakers?”

_____________

“Did you get the video I sent?”
“Yes, however we asked for videos in DVD video or MPEG-2 format.”
“Oh, so you want this on a DVD?”
“yes please.”
(a few days later a DVD arrives containing the same WMV file that was previously delivered on a CD”

[Matt Townley]

Got this earlier this week:

“Hi, I’d like to return the DVDs we bought last week”
[insert 5 minutes to figure out they were talking about 15 VHS and VHSC tapes we transferred to DVD]
“I’m sorry, was there something wrong with them?”
“No, but we already watched them and decided the memories are not worth saving after all.”
“I’m sorry, but there are no refunds on that type of service.”
“Oh, can we trade them in for other movies?”
“(partially laughing)What sorta movies are you looking for?”
“Do you have Avatar?”
Thats when I could’t contain it anymore and just laughed.

[Steve Kownacki]

Glad to help Mark.

Steve

[Bob Zelin]

from a long time ago –
NY ad agency producer – emergency call, could not get screening system to work in office. TV was turned off. “Oh, do you have to turn it on to see the picture” (you can’t make up stuff like this)

from today –
well, I dare not tell this story in too much detail, as it relates to a recent post from a Creative Cow forum, but after going out of my way to find out about the clients system, to insure that there would be no conflict with the clients equipment, the client then observes what I ask about, and then CHANGES HIS SYSTEM to insure that there would be a conflict. After 1 1/2 hours on the phone, not being able to figure out what the hell was going on, and why nothing was working, I then randomly trying something else (out of desperation), I observe the conflict, and say “did you change anything ?” – to which he replied “oh yes, we saw that you changed XYZ, so we changed all of our equipment to match it”.

Thats why I keep a wooden board handy, to smack myself in the head, after situations like this.

Bob Zelin

[Steve Wargo]

It is hilarious how people think we can e-mail hours of DVD content. One day, I had a customer say “I know you can e-mail it to me. I watch videos on YouTube all the time”.

What do you say to that comment?

And there’s hundreds more. Before DVDs, I had a client bring me several VHS tapes, insisting they would fit on “A” CD. After the conversation heated up a bit by his insistance, I grabbed a CD in a jewel case, laid it on the table, took his VHS tapes and laid them on top of the CD case and said “There you go. Your movies on CD. $25 please.” He stared at them for about 15 seconds and then got his checkbook out. We called him a few years later and did the job for him on DVDs.

How about the numerous clients who insisted that we shoot on VHS so they could watch the finished product on their TV. They would say “Beta’s no good. They lost”.

And now, what does the phrase “Are you recording to DIGITAL” actually mean?

Steve Wargo
Tempe, Arizona
It’s a dry heat!

Sony HDCAM F-900 & HDW-2000/1 deck
5 Final Cut (not quite PRO) systems
Sony HVR-M25 HDV deck
2-Sony EX-1 HD .

Ask me how to Market Yourself using Send Out Cards

[Larry Melton]

You know, I almost feel a little bad about making fun of all these people and calling them dumb. But I’m certain that there are message boards all over the internet for plumbers, HVAC guys, auto service technicians, or any one of dozens of other areas I know nothing about, and they’re full of ridiculous, laughable comments and questions that I asked.

So I feel a little better that occasionally, I can brighten their days as well.

Larry Melton
1041East

[Jeremy Doyle]

[Larry Melton] “But I’m certain that there are message boards all over the internet for plumbers, HVAC guys, auto service technicians, or any one of dozens of other areas I know nothing about, and they’re full of ridiculous, laughable comments and questions that I asked.

So I feel a little better that occasionally, I can brighten their days as well. “

Amen to that!

[Mike Cohen]

Our customers are not supposed to be technical experts – that’s why they hire us.
Are some of the things we hear from customers common sense? Maybe common sense for people who make it their business to know about these things, but business people have their hands in many projects and honestly don’t have time or inclination to know or care about things like DVD vs CD, file formats, file sizes, how much data can fit on a particular format, etc.

In the end, I think what this thread shows is that, as has been discussed many times on this forum, we are problem solvers. We help customers so they do not have to try doing something that is not their specialty.

That’s business 101.

Mike Cohen