It is always a compromise, shooting and cutting for IMAG screens in the venue versus shooting and switching and/or editing for a post version. The compositional needs are very different and often in opposition. If you do the choice of shots and cutting to opitimize the live audience’s IMAG experience, you often get a relatively boring master tape out of that. Running iso records, you can sometimes fix quite a bit of that in post with different timing of cuts and selection of shots, but you are still locked into the IMAG composition/framings you shot with. If you IMAG feed a live cut that’s got a home viewer audience in mind, the live audience is going to be really distracted from the live performance. You will suck life out of the show.
For lighting, you must either vote for and live with covering the show as it actually was, or commit to a customized interpretation of the show geared to the needs of video. Perhaps one compromise you can try is to add some level-raising washes to just the full dress rehearsal. Then you can use just the dress for TV or try and match levels in post later as you intercut between the rehearsal and the actual show. Failing that, you could maybe rent cameras with more control over dynamic range, if the budget allows. If the budget is fixed, then you do the best you can. With today’s cameras, that’s a lot easier to do than in the old tube camera days, if that’s any consolation; you can do great work today that was impossible to attempt even ten years ago.