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Care to give some feedback?
A short impression of an island hopping trip in the Caribbean on board De Eendracht from Sint Maarten to the British Virgin Islands, Jost van Dyke, Virgin Gorda, The Baths, The Bitter End and Saba back to Sint Maarten. An incredible sailing trip, best enjoyed with a tropical cocktail in hand.
Shot with a Sony Z1, edited with Premiere Pro CS3.
Look here: https://www.vimeo.com/1122531
Any suggestion for improvement is welcome.
PS: A voice over by a well known TV personality will be added at a later date.
Harm Millaard
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9 Replies
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Hi ya Harm,
Here’s my initial feedback…
1. All Lower Thirds need some kind of BG element to throw them forward. A quick 6 frame fade is good to create enough movement for the eye to see it. I lost some of the thirds because they didn’t attract my eye (cut and no contrast with white and BG of shot).
2. About 2:27 (mm:ss) I noticed a shot used twice and another shot between that looked very similar. I’d probably remove them altogether.
3. Overall it felt like a fairly tight edit. I’d probably remove some shots that feel repetitive story wise, some shots of ropes, only need one to say there are ropes, move on them doing their job right after that. No need to show two or more shots of ropes being ropes on deck. 😉
4. The Title Text you’ve used at the beginning is a little less pro that the text then used in the lower 3rds. Keep is clean and simple. Probably use clean colours not mixed colours in text. I’d find a shot that speaks we are going on a cruise and the days are sunny with a space to the side on top where text can fit into the shot not covering the boat. Or add a BG Graident at the bottom with the text deliberately there to be read. It’s kinda hidden in the shot at the moment.
5. I recently cut a short sailing piece for a Volvo sales group in Melbourne. It was similar to your edit, but I used quick fades sometimes. I think with the song you have some fades into the quieter parts of the day (sunsets) are always a nice sense of the slow and relaxed pace of that moment.
6. Nice work!
– Jon 😉How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?
http://www.jonbarrie.net -
Thanks for your comments, Jon.
1. I agree, but the lower thirds will be removed when the voice over is done. I just put them in just so people at least have an inkling of the places they look at.
2. I think I know the two shots you mention here, but there are no shots used twice. They do not appear to be much different now, but when placed adjacent you will notice that the first shot is much more zoomed in and has almost too much movement, so that was the reason to put another shot in the middle.
3. I would have liked to use more ‘humanizing’ shots, more people action. My dilemma however is that this was a trip with a group of people of 55+ and this clip is intended to interest the youth in all aspects of sea sailing. The youth may not be interested in seeing balding, elderly men with bulking bellies in action. I’ll take your comment to heart and try to find some more action shots.
4 & 5. I agree and will make some adjustments.In general it is tight, I know, but Vimeo is somewhat different from a clip on a website, that wants youth to watch a clip. It could have been a bit longer overall, but I have to wait for the voice over by a well known TV personality to see and hear the flow. Currently it is only a work in progress.
Thanks again for your comments.
Guys, keep it coming please.
Harm Millaard
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Ready ’bout….hard to lee! I can almost taste the salt water.
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1. I imagine you did not use a tripod. Is there a way to apply a stablizing filter?
2. Z1 yields beautiful footage, I am not sure what the intend of this video is, but, I get bored after a min or two, it seems to repeat.
My .02c
Perry
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1. No tripod. There was hardly any possibility to use that on board and no possibility to carry it along to shore on the tender. I’ll have a look at stabilizing filters.
2. For someone that does not like sailing or has never experienced a trip like this I can imagine it gets boring without a good voice over. I even had people tell me to reduce it to 1 minute maximum (also a non-sailor) and I have had several (some of them sailors) say that it was too short.
Thanks for your comments and the remarks about getting boring, I will certainly look at that after the voice over, when I can adjust the flow.
Harm Millaard
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Harm,
Yes, I am no sailer. I do enjoy the beauty of Z1! Cutting was great… voice over will be really nice. Great job!Perry
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Thanks Perry.
I added some short scenes to get a more humanizing touch to it, more people in action, took into consideration Jon’s remarks and ended up with a slightly less tight clip I think.
If you like it, sign up for Vimeo and give me your LIKE vote.
With regards to getting bored, let me explain the many shots on the route from Virgin Gorda to Saba. Keep in mind that this is a pretty big sailing ship, nearly 200 feet long, and during the day with only 5-6 Beaufort it already heaved and stamped quite a bit, causing seasickness amongst quite a number of people, including the ship’s physician. During the night the wind increased to 7 Beaufort while we were sailing with over 1000 square meters of sail, a bit much at the time. People, trying to sleep in the forward compartment had a difficult time with the ship stamping more than 45 feet. Using this fact in the voice over requires some length in the shots. Hence the somewhat repeating shots.
Harm Millaard
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heey Harm
Nice to see some Dutch-speakin’ guys here ^^
-I won’t use a tripod, you wanna get the feeling in the boat, tripod is to static.
-There were some pritty nice “sun down” shots (or at least, i saw one) mayby put more shots in it from the magic “dusk” or “dawn” (ochtend en avond gloed).
-If you had a water-casing for you camera, you could get some need side-boat action through the waves 🙂
-I think you should also put some more close-up shots from the people when they work on the boat.
-music is cool, but the cut ended at .56 minutes you realy need to change, the song ends weird. the music cut before that had a few seconds silence, mayby fill that in.overal: nice shots, just a little bit work on the tiny details and it’s nice (het geeft een mooi sensatie van de boot en de omgeving, heerlijk weer!)
Greetzz
Bart
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Bart,
Thanks for your comments. For a large part I agree with you, but remember this is still a work in progress. Ultimately it will have a voice over from a very well known Dutch TV personality, so the background music will be adjusted accordingly. This is planned around September or October.
You touched on another dilemma I have, more CU shots. This was a sailing trip with a group of 55+ people and the intended viewers are youth around 20+. They are not much interested in balding or grey haired people with pot bellies. Let alone the possible problems with getting their agreement to publish their shots in this clip.
I had no (under)water housing for the Z1, apart from it being very impractical or even impossible to launch the tender while sailing with speeds of around 11 knots under 1000 square meters of sail (bezaan, grootzeil, schoenerzeil, boomfok, binnenkluiver en buitenkluiver), getting safely on board the tender, filming around the ship and getting back on board and getting the tender back on the ship. There was no way to achieve that, for instance during the 30+ hours of continuous sailing from Virgin Gorda to Saba. During the day we had wind of 5-6 Bft that increased during the night (hondenwacht) to around 7-8 Bft and food being brought up to the bridge was frequently blown off the ship. It was interesting to see the ship, at least in the forward compartment, move around 15 meters or 45 feet up and down between waves while sailing with a 25-30 degree tilt. Even the ship’s physician got seasick.
If you want to know more, contact me at millaard(AT)millcon(DOT)nl
Harm Millaard
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