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leap of faith
It’s no secret I tend to burn out every few years or so. It because I put all that I have into whatever it is I am doing. Sooner or later, though I hate to admit it, that always runs out in the professional world.
Life had found this recovering alcoholic at the local brewery more often than not. While my rate was somewhere between that of a freelancer and that of a post facility, I truely found it hard to create in that environment. Even in my own environment, that content began to poke at me. I stopped enjoying it and each session got shorter than the last as I whooped up more cookie cutter content and broke out early.
I took a long drive down to texas last week. I started thinking of how many dues I had paid in the last 20 years and how I could have clipped on a tie and gone out making six figures at a job I hate a loong time ago if money were the modivator. I got to thinking how I really otta be loving what I do.
So, the time for me to be an editor has passed. I have shot too much for myself now to go back to editing other people’s camera work and I have produced too much now to do a good job of oppeasing other producers. My only option is to do what it is I wanted to do in the first place… make lil one man band movies. While I can’t celebrate too much beacuse I have no idea how I’m gonna pay the bills and do this at the same time, I do find it pretty dang cool that I am now forced to catch my dream.
From the outside, it may look like I traded security for passion. I did that a long time ago though… When I opted not to clip the tie. I didn’t do this in the name or art, boredom or because sombody pissed me off. (those are reasons why I quit my last 10 gigs) 😉 No, I did this one just because it dawned on me, if we want to stop doing certain things in life, the first step is to actually stop doing them.
I’ll figure out the easy part later.
Cuttin’ this ambilical was the hard part.
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22 Replies
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An old saying, “If you find yourself stuck in a rut the first thing you should do is stop digging.”
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Grinner,
I really believe you will not only succeed at this, you’ll really enjoy it. You’ve paid your dues, and everything before this has been preparing you for this next experience.All the crazy clients (and employers), all the overnight edit sessions, and all the technical expertise you’ve had to learn quickly to get the projects out by deadline have taught you the side of things that can’t really be taught without experience to go along with it.
Let me know if there is ever anything I can do to help.
-TJA
p.s. I hope you’ll find a way to be able to involve your whole family in your craft during this next phase of your career. Best wishes to all of you!
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Grinner,
I feel your pain. I’m in exactly the same position. I’m 44, and have spent my entire adult life working my ass off in this craft to do the best work I possibly could. Like you, I also shoot and produce, and know how hard it is to work for people who don’t share your commitment to the craft. It does seem like in recent years, the projects that have come my way have been worse and worse. The days of having an experienced, talented producer come to me with a box of well-shot tapes, prepared to hunker down and collaborate on a piece that we can all be proud of seem to be over. In my world (mid to upper-mid level corporate) things have really gotten bad. I sometimes worry that all this crappy work is hurting my abilities – that maybe you become so compromised you forget how to do good work.Editing is hard work – really hard. I find myself less and less able to put in long days on uninspiring projects. When I was younger, we used to joke, “well, it beats digging ditches!”, but lately it’s beginning to feel alot like I am digging ditches.
I sometimes think that, maybe, before I get too old, I should fire all my clients and start over. So far, I haven’t had to guts to do it, so my hat’s off to you. Best of luck and let us know how you do!
Bob -
man, thanks alot.
My family is part of Moddin’ Art, the show I have been creating for the last 3 years or so. They not only travel with me and are on camera in this quazi-reality show, they literally help. My kids run camera for me, Nancy offers ideas and creativity (and offers craft services) and my doughter has her own segment on the show called “That’s Cheezy with Tera Star”. She writes it, directs it and of course, stars in it. I’ve not had a better time with a project than this one. It’s my calling and I am finally answering. -
thanks much, Bob. Spot on, sir.
As more and more interns became producers, dude it became harder and harder to oppease. While the ole “what if we did a page turn here and made the “chyron” red?” use to pull a very diplomatic response, it began to pull responses like a short chuckle as if I thought they were kidding.
In my last 10 years of editing, I have literally only edited for one producer that I can remember. The rest were shcedulers, interns, assistants or wannabes who were in over their heads, knew it and depended on me to bail em out. I guess the lack of passion, commitment, experience and vision for a finished project had me starving for really caring about the piece. The only thing I have created in the last decade that I am proud of is the very project I am diving into full time now. -
Grin,
You know I love you man. I have been preparing for retirement. this isn’t fun anymore. I was watching a movie a couple days ago and when the half screen live actor promo came in over Tommy Lee Jones face and completely covered him up. I thought aobut what I have told the college grads for so many years. “Forget what you spent the last four yours learning. It isn’t done that way in the real world.” Well, that is no longer true. the geniouses that be are teaching forget about the program that people are watching it isn’t important, the important thing is to get them to watch the next program. I don’t remember the show I had started watching nor the program the promo was pushing. I changed channels immediately and decided I really don’t need to watch any of them.
I quit doing sports cause it became no fun anymore when the game became nothing more than wallpaper for the graphics. Commercials don’t sell product anymore, they are a wannabe movie producer’s method of creating a movie to build his own ego.
I started on a bigger tirade but erased it cause it really doesn’t matter anymore.Charlie
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Gotta jump in on this one. Thanks for getting it started, Grin.
I am 45 and got started in 1991 as a tape op. Read all the manuals and eventually ran a Digital FX Composium (Windows 1.5), and soon after got to work on the 11th AVID ever sold on an old Mac IIFx. AfterEffects was still Cosa and Photoshop had channels not layers.
I can’t put my finger on it exactly, but in the last couple years it does seem that projects are less creative and not all that inspiring, and more and more like jobs. The craft factor is slipping away. Less and less of our recent stuff is ending up on our demo reel.
I think I know much of what Charlie was going to write, or did write, then erased. I share his sentiment somewhat. We are looking for the people and the means to bring the creative and craft back into the process. We have not nailed down a strategy to pull this off, however.
It seems that the democratization of the craft has in many ways diluted it. We all own a camcorder of some kind. Back in 1992 only a handful in our town had one. And most of those guys were specialists. We are in a time when we see more Jack of all trade types, and less craftsman. Lots of Writer/Director/Producer/Editor types out there, but how many really good, focused, creative script writers are out there? Especially in corporate video? How about spot writing?
Since most TV stations and corporate in house shops have the same gear as the nearest post house or boutique shop they keep the project in house, and in lesser hands.
Another factor is budget and time. Our time is much less valuable. Other than HD rates, when was the last time editing room rates have gone up? We have been hovering in the sub $200/hr range for a good 8 years. And budgets are ever shrinking, partly because we have shown that we can do the job faster and sometimes with more interesting results because of the toolsets on our desktops. We applauded Nattress for giving us low priced plug ins, but now even corporate clients want film look but don’t want to pay for the time it takes to do a real thorough color correct. They think it is a preset on a $99 plugin. They don’t realize that FILM actually looks the most like film.
Ok, I’ll admit that sometimes it is a $99 plug in that saves the day, but…
Another problem. We all can do the job faster. We have octo core computers. We have 512 megs of Video Ram. We have terabytes of storage, and that’s on an internal array. We are a production company, but the student graduate has the same system in his bedroom. The savvy producer knows this too. And the kid in his bedroom just might have a better idea of how to put the pictures together, too. There is a lot of new talent in the field. Agencies love the new talent, don’t they? Not the old seasoned guys.
I am hoping that in a couple months we get a new post from Grinner that he worked it all out and he’s right where he wants to be. And I also hope that we all chime in that it’s all gotten better for us too. But it looks like the economy might be in that slide they’ve been promising, so it’s probably best to get back to it and do our best, and work hard, and try to create something that we can put on a reel.
Rich Rubasch
Tilt Media -
Great post, and important issue. I have gone down a similar road, though I started in advertising as an art director. After 25 years in that career I decided it was time for a change.
And so for the past 5 years I’ve been editing and creating motion graphics. But, perhaps most importantly, I’ve been creating original material – content.
When the same tools are in everybody’s hands, what differentiates individuals is what they make with those tools. If you wait for others to bring you things to work on, then you are at their mercy. If they bring you junk, then that is what you work on. If you are generating your own content, then you are in control. It doesn’t have to be the same ol’ stuff – it can be whatever you want, and with a lifetime of experience and knowledge at your fingertips it could be something really wonderful.
I walked away from a 25 year career in advertising and a really good income. I also walked away from unhappiness and a total lack of fulfillment and the conviction that I was engaged in a pointless undertaking. Now my income is a fraction of what it was but I’m happy, so I think I made the right choice.
The hardest part of doing it is starting. Once you’re on the road it just gets better and better.
Arthur Vibert
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An old saying, “If you find yourself stuck in a rut the first thing you should do is stop digging.”
Another went, “if you’re going to dig yourself into a hole, keep digging
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Hi Grinner!
I am a young buck compared to a lot of the posts on this thread however
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