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a video I shot recently
Hi everyone,
I just edited a video I shot recently. I decided to tell the story entirely with real life scenes. What do you think? I will appreciate some honest opinion. Shot on the 5D MKII.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKCcDKCikTY
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3 Replies
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Some beautiful shots. I would recommend you cut this down a bit. Once we see a character, unless we are going to follow him/her for a while, we don’t want to see him/her again. Ditto for the street car. Use it as open and close, perhaps. I suggest your next purchase be a better tripod/head so that you can smooth out your pans. Very nicely shot and the music works well. Possibly add some ambient sounds such as children’s laughter, the sound of the street car, etc.?
What city is this?
Rick Wise
Cinematographer
MFA/BFA Lighting and Camera Instructor Academy of Art University
San Francisco Bay Area
https://www.RickWiseDP.com -
I’m with Rick… some VERY nice shots.
As far as editing flow along with composition goes, I really liked the very last sequence best, with all of the Wes Anderson-esque perfectly symmetrical shots. Well shot and well cut.
Also agree with Rick, a better tripod head would smooth out those pans.
There were a couple of times where you panned to follow someone walking perpendicular to the camera, and that person got what was for me uncomfortably close to the leading frame edge. Usual composition convention would say that you should give the subject more “look space” for them to lead into rather than their trailing space… although you certainly can lead them with little space, although that is usually done for specific effect (to build tension, etc.).
My only real editorial note would be that you said you were trying to “the story entirely with real life scenes.” I’m not so sure it actually told any story (or if it did, I missed it), other than a “day in the life of a city,” which, if that’s the case, is fine.
Some very pretty stuff there.
T2
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Todd Terry
Creative Director
Fantastic Plastic Entertainment, Inc.
fantasticplastic.com
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The story you show is all kinds of people waiting for… something. The music at the beginning adds to that emotional subtext.
The music at the end would go well with shots of waiting coming to an end, like, lady gets off the tram and greets the man waiting for them, kids run off to embrace grandparents, chess player greets his arriving opponent, etc. but there is no visual “pay off” or resolution to go with that music in the film as now edited; just more shots of waiting or walking.
You have the first half of a “story”, now you need to add in the things these are waiting for. Or, if the “story” is that they never get what they wanted, you need a way to show that, too. I know that this kind of shot is hard to get at random in the field – it’s like hunting for elusive game. But when you get the before and after shots, it will be very satisfying.
Another thing you could do with this existing footage, is to add an audio track of spoken word poetry, or personal narrative about waiting for something, and what your thought and feelings are when it comes… or doesn’t come.
But you’ll still need a resolution or ending of some kind.
If you want more input on the story-telling aspect of this, versus just the photography, consider re-posting in one of the COW editing forums.
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